Motherhood in Perspective

Hello lovelies!

Trust you’ve been happy

The title above was inspired by recent events in my life as a Mom and some of the most beautiful “experiences” I have had on the Job (chukles) and I will be sharing quotes or may I refer to them as gold nuggets dug out of

Have you ever been in a gathering or any place and your child acts out his/her age then folks around look at you with their judgmental eyes full of utter disdain and they put their very best efforts forward to get you to understand how they feel about your parenting style as a mom, this list of people includes; Friends, Family, Colleagues and Passersby, Strangers e.t.c Some will actually dare to say that you know nothing about motherhood, all under the guise and hypocrisy of the african abi na Nigerian /Yoruba people’s proverb “Agba kii waloja ki ori omotuntun wo” … lol

Literal Translation ( An elder will not be at the market place and a child’s head is positioned wrongly)

I respect elderly people (Please make no mistake about this)especially those who truly mean well and desire to participate in the proper upbringing of children, in my mother’s tongue they are referred to as “Abiyamo tooto”

It’s the attitude of the aforementioned that actually baffles me, although like some say about me, “she has created an imaginary world around herself like she doesn’t live in this land”Well, I am non-conformist like that. (Shrugs)

I believe that God genuinely has a plan for this world and He’s mindful of every individual here.

Like I said initially, a set of quotes/ gold nuggets inspired me about the topic of discussion and I thought to share with you especially Moms dealing with the need to please you already know who (shrugs again )

May I start with my thought on the subject and what I would like to call my conclusion;

With this first point of mine in mind, please, be very polite the next time you feel the emotional pressure to be disappointed at your child and make sure they also get the message ..Smiles (abi?)

Be determined to stay alive and always be there, which is by structuring your life according to God’s principles for living. I recommend a good study of the Bible

Here are the Gold Nuggets as mentioned, I have assisted by publishing them in their framed forms below.

I look forward to reading your comments as you share your experience.

with love,

Adeola OmoOba






Thursday, February 28th .
Pastor Chris

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved (John 3:17).

Imagine that you have friends or relatives who aren’t born again or people who work with you who aren’t born again; don’t let them go to hell! You need to weep and cry for their salvation. In your intercessory prayers, you need to wail and travail for their souls, that the light of the glorious Gospel would shine in their hearts. You need to pray for them knowing the terror that awaits them, until you’re assured of their salvation. Don’t take this lightly.


Think about your uncles and aunts; think about your cousins, your spouse, your children; don’t let them perish without God! Don’t let them go to hell! Do you know what it is to be in the darkest place for eternity, and never have hope of coming out?

Your presence in your home, school, workplace, neighbourhood, estate, city or country isn’t for a game. It isn’t just for you to be happy and celebrate that you’re born again; you must be concerned for the salvation of others. You’re a saviour to your world. You were sent to save others.

You’re on earth and alive to do the Lord’s work; to win more and more people to Jesus Christ. We’ve got to snatch them out of hell; some of them are already so close, and if we don’t rescue them, they’ll slip right into it. We must not let them!

The Lord has committed to us the ministry of reconciliation, and faithfully, we must keep carrying out our ministry, turning men from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God.


*Blessed Father, I thank you for making the Gospel heard and received in my world, and your righteousness established in the hearts of men. Indeed, the kingdoms of this world have become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of His Christ. The Lord reigns forever and ever. Amen.*

*FURTHER STUDY:* *||* *Matthew 24:14* And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come. *||*

*||* *2 Peter 3:8-10* But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day [is] with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. 9 The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. 10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. *||*


*1-Year Bible Reading Plan=>* Mark 8:27-9:1-13 & Numbers 5-6

*2-Year Bible Reading Plan=>* Matthew 18:21-35 & Exodus 9

Embrace Your Uniqueness

Some years back as a much younger lady, a gentleman looked at my hair and asked me if i had sprayed the patch, i wasn’t so shocked people thought so cos i was definitely too young at the time to have as much as i already did, oh! No sir! I replied, then he said it’s a symbol of wisdom and that i should make sure i read a lot and later in life i will understand what he means.
Well, several years have come and gone, profound thoughts cross my mind and i voice a few from time to time, i have shared opinions on several topics also i find my self saying things and wondering how they came about.

I have said things that authorities on those subjects think the same and then those who’d heard me say them would be like, Deola you said this before.#Weird
Now, this isn’t to say the wisdom came from my hair, but as i sat in service on Sunday 3rd Feb the idea ofthis post came and i received a direction to post it exactly like this.
Perhaps, it will show up as a post somewhere by someone the world looks up to, i would like to say great minds think alike.

I am proud to be a product of Igbo land – Chimamanda Adichie

Dear UBPer,

How have you been?

Perhaps, you would find the below transcribed speech as inspiring as I did,

Do enjoy reading and let me know your thoughts in the comment section.

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ladies and gentlemen!!!!!!

…Local language preservation leads to development
Being excerpts of Chimamanda Adichie’s speech at the just held Face of Okija thought leadership and beauty pageant in Anambra, where she talked on different issues like the need to be proud of our mother tongue in communication, preserving our languages for growth, the benefits of getting further education by the Igbos and other salient topics.

My father is from Aba in Nchikoka Local Government Area and my mother from Munachi in Dunukofia Local Government Area, both in Anambra and I grew up in Nsukka in Enugu state. All of those towns are important in my sense of Identity and so I am thrilled to be here speaking in Igbo land.

I am proud to be a product of Igbo land; Igbo land produced that great political and cultural colossus, Nnamdi Azikwe.

Igboland produced that mathematics genius, Professor James Esielo

Nkem Dora Akuyili (RIP)

, Igbo land produced Nigeria’s first professor of statistics, a man I also happen to call daddy, Professor James Adichie.

Igbo land produced the first woman to be the registrar of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, a woman I also happened to call mummy.

Igboland produced great writers, if

Chinua Achebe

, Flora Nwapa

and Chi Emecheta

and Professor Chukwuemeka Ike

had not written the books they did, when and how they did, I would not have had the emotional courage to write my own books and so today I honor them and I stand respectfully in their shadow.

I also stand in great pride in the shadow of so many other daughters and sons of Igbo land. We have much to be proud of in Igbo Land, we have many from whom we can take inspiration so I want to start today with a message for all the young people here.


‘Consider yourself a life-long student never stop learning’ I have a post graduate degree but I consider myself a student, a person who will always be eager to learn. I want to ask you to get much formal education you can and also I want to say to you; stay in school.

Even if you want to start a business you will be a better businessman or woman if you are literate, if you can think critically and these are all things one gets from education and I say this, particularly because there are many of us in Igbo land that thinks that what matters is business.

And then education is not just what somebody teaches you in school, education is also about the effort you make. Reading is essential and not just reading for school exams, I mean reading outside what you are asked to.

When I was growing up I read everything I could find, and of course, I grew up at a time when the internet was not at its ubiquitous presence as it is now. I know that the internet is here to stay, and I think the internet can be good or bad depending on how we use it.

So, you can use the internet to waste your time, read stupid gossips online and you can get into meaningless arguments on Facebook or you can use your data to educate yourself. You can read quality newspapers online, watch a video that teaches you something. The internet is full of free classes that you can access easily. Learn; think of each new day as an opportunity to learn something new.

One of my interests is Pre-Colonial Africa, I am very curious about whom and what we were before colonialism came. Now, most of recorded history about Igbo people and about many other ethnic groups in Africa came from foreigners.

Men and women who did not speak the language and do not understand the nuances of the culture which means we have to read everything they write with a certain level of skepticism but what is consistent about all of the books I have read about Pre-Colonial Igbo land is that the Igbo people valued integrity, they were known to be frank, known to be people who do not pretend and people who valued open communication between the old and the young, parents and their children and to be people who believed in individual achievements but also felt that consensus is the best way to govern a community.


Thinking about communication as a value of the Igbo people, I thought about a young woman I know in Lagos. She is twenty-five years old and she’s from Anambra state and she said to me that she did not want to come back to her home town for Christmas. When I asked why? She said she is under so much pressure from her parents to get married and she said they don’t just want me to marry; they want me to marry a rich man.

Recently as two years ago, she said, if she mentioned a boy’s name to her parents they will shout at her because she wasn’t supposed to have a boyfriend. And of course one wonders how she’s supposed to meet the man that will be her husband today. Most of all, what touched me while talking to her was when she said; I cannot talk to my parents.


So I want to ask parents here today, particularly parents of teenagers. Please keep communication open between you and your children. Many parents today teach their children how to fear them but not to respect them. Fear is not respect, you can beat fear into a child but respect is what a parent earns.

Don’t shut your children up, listen to them. Give them advice without shouting. Actually, if you don’t shout they are likely to hear you better and as you give advice, remember the fallings of your own youth, nobody is perfect.

I want to suggest today that we all take up the name, ‘ekweme’. Let us not only talk but let’s also act and let us do as we say. Some years ago, I ran into a woman in Enugu, a woman who is an old family friend. She was with her little son, I said Kedu to the boy and the woman said very quickly no he doesn’t speak Igbo, he speaks only English. What struck me was not just that this child does not speak Igbo but the mother said it with so much pride. She was proud that her child did not speak Igbo, why I asked her and her reply was that speaking Igbo will confuse him and I want him to learn to speak English well.

So later when we mentioned her son’s school, she mentioned that he was taking piano lessons and French lesson. And so I asked her if learning Igbo will confuse him would learning French also confuse him? The woman’s reason that two languages will confuse her child sounds reasonable on the surface but is it true? It is simply not true.

We know children have the ability to learn different languages, and in fact, we know being bi-lingual or multi-lingual help children in areas outside languages. I don’t really need to read studies about this, I am proof. I grew up speaking Igbo and English at the same time and considered them both as my first languages and I can assure you in my forty-one years on earth I am yet to be confused by that.

I’m actually learning to improve my French and learn Swahili and Hausa maybe then I would be confused. My sister, my parent’s first child was born in the US when my father was a doctoral student. My parents made the decision to speak only Igbo to her because they knew she would learn English, they were determined that she would speak Igbo and they did and I can assure you that my sister is also not confused.

When I had my daughter three years ago, my husband and I decided we would only speak Igbo to her. She now speaks Igbo and people are always shocked particularly the Igbo people when they hear her speak.

I deeply love both Igbo and English; English for me is the language of literature and philosophy. But Igbo is the language of emotions, humor, and laughter. Igbo is the enduring link to my past, it is the language in which my great-grandmothers sang.

Sometimes when I hear the old people speak Igbo in my hometown, Aba I found myself wishing that my own Igbo were not so Anglo-sized. I am full of admiration of the complexity of their language and the proverbs that they used and I am in awe of the culture that produced this poetry because that is what the Igbo language is when it is spoken well – it is poetry.

And so to deprive our children of the gift of this language at a time in their lives when they can easily absorb it is an unnecessary loss. We now have all over Igbo land grandparents who cannot talk to their grandchildren because they have an imperial barrier between them.

Even when the grandparent speaks English there is often an awkwardness in the conversation and the losses made worst by imagining what it could have been, the stories that could have been told, wisdom and history that might have been passed down to their grandchildren and most of all the sense of identity that comes with knowing one’s language.

Language is not just about communication it’s about word feel. Some people argued that language is the only thing that makes a culture but I disagree. I think identity is much more complex, I think that culture is really a way of looking at the world and so there are Igbo people who do not speak the language but that does not necessarily make them any less Igbo.

In fact, I think for the young people today who do not speak Igbo we cannot hold them responsible. It is their parents that we must hold responsible.

The great Ghanaian writer, Ammah Attetuh ask a question in her novel Changes; “Why have we insisted on speaking about ourselves in the same condescending tone that others have used to speak of us?” There are other Igbo and Igbo parents who don’t necessarily think Igbo would confuse their children, they just think that Igbo is not just that important after all its small language spoken only in South-Eastern Nigeria and it is not important to the newly globalized world.

So as one parent said to me, it is indeed true that the world is increasingly global but to succeed in this global world does not mean giving up on who we are. It means keeping what we are and adding to it.

I remember being very impressed when I went to Iceland by the effort the people of Iceland put towards preserving their language. Iceland is a tiny country with a population less than that of Igbo land. Many people there speak English but speaking Icelandic is very important to them and it is not because Iceland is the next China.

Nobody is learning Icelandic as people are learning Mandarin. It is instead because the people of Iceland value their language. They know it is a small language that does not generate any economic power but they do not say ‘kede be di e che’ because they understand there are other values that language has beyond the material and economic.

Language is the constructs of culture, the end of language marks the beginning of the end of culture. And this I think is giving value to who we are and to our culture

To value something is to believe that that thing matters and also to act that you believe that it matters. The knowledge of Igbo can lead to an innate self-confidence that will, in fact, be essential for success in any job interview and confidence comes from knowing who you are.

I am today considered a global citizen which I think means I am comfortable anywhere in the world, but I know this is primarily because of the pride that I received being raised by parents who were academics and very much rooted in the Igbo culture.

Having confidence in your culture does not mean you have to be ethnocentric or you feel your culture is better than others, what it means is that you are satisfied with what is yours. And so there will be no need to dehumanize others.

I am very proudly Igbo, Nigerian, and African and I am very curious about other African Culture.

I am not trying to romanticize Igbo culture, Igbo culture is not perfect. I quarrel strongly with a number of things in Igbo Culture, quarrel with the patriarchy and quarrel with the argument that uses culture to silent descent.

I quarrel with the people who say whenever a woman tries to assert her full autonomy that it is not our culture. Well, driving cars is not also our culture but we all drive cars because car driving benefits as a community. So if indeed it is not our culture that women are considered full and equal members of the society then we must make it our culture. We must make inequality our culture because it benefits all of us. Unless we can tap into the potential of every single human being whether male or female we would not fully succeed as a society.

We can begin today by saying yes to integrity and no to mediocrity. I will like to end with another message for young people. I will like to ask to; please do not judge leadership by the amount of money a leader has or can share or the amount of noise he or she can make. Judge leadership with the amount of testimony by ordinary people and how that leadership has changed their lives.

I want to ask you always to be courageous; courage is not the absence of fear. Courage means you have fear but despite your fear, you still try. Always try

Finally, to the young people don’t be entitled. Do not feel anybody owes you anything and work hard. Say yes to integrity and say no to mediocrity.


Images: Google

Speech: Chimamanda Adichie

Culled : Vanguard Online News



Saturday, January 26th

Pastor Chris

*…this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven (Acts 1:10-11).*

Make no mistakes about it, the Lord’s return is closer than many realise. Don’t be deceived by those who say He’s not coming again; the Scriptures already testified of His return, during which the rapture of the Church will take place. And at the rapture, only those expecting Him would be taken to heaven.

So, are you expecting Him? You can tell from the way you live your life every day. Some believe the rapture is going to take people by surprise, like they’ll be swept off their feet; no! The rapture of the Church is going to be by faith. It’ll be an act of your faith to be raptured when it’s time. That means when you hear the trumpet, you must put your faith to work and go! Hebrews 11:5 says, _*“By faith Enoch was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him….”*_

Some people will be struck with fear when they hear the trumpet, and fear won’t let them leave. This is because they weren’t expecting Him. The Bible says, _*“…and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation”*_ (Hebrews 9:28). There has to be an expectation. It’s for the same reason that Paul said, _*“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord…”*_ (1 Corinthians 15:58).

If you’ve been living for Him, doing His works and bearing fruits of righteousness, happy are you! But if you haven’t, it’s time to make a change, so that when He comes, you’ll be bold in His presence! Your faith will be activated and you’ll be amongst those that’ll be caught up to be with Him forever! _*“For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord”*_ (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17). Hallelujah!


*I’m bearing fruits of righteousness, giving the lives of men and women in my world a meaning, as I await the soon return of the Master. My faith is effective and effectual, producing required results to the glory of His Name. Amen.*


*1 Corinthians 15:52-58*
In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal [must] put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. 55 O death, where [is] thy sting? O grave, where [is] thy victory? 56 The sting of death [is] sin; and the strength of sin [is] the law. 57 But thanks [be] to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

*Matthew 24:27*
For as the lightning cometh out of the east, and shineth even unto the west; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.


*1-Year Bible Reading Plan*
Matthew 18:15-35 & Exodus 10-12

*2-Year Bible Reading Plan*
Matthew 10:1-11 & Genesis 26



What will 2019 be for you?

Are you aware that 2019 isn’t bringing anything for you?

it is what you make of your life in 2019, It’s what you’ve been creating with your words a long time ago, that’s what you’ll make of it.

You have a responsibility!

Christianity is a life of responsibility. You must take responsibility, God says I put before you life and death, you are the one to choose not God. We are responsible for what we become,and have In life.

Life will not give you what you deserve,you’ll take from life what you deserve. You can’t blame your parents for being poor but you are responsible for remaining poor. Your life is like a garden or farm,if you leave it empty,things will still grow and certainly,it’ll be what you don’t like. So,take responsibility for your life. Deuteronomy 2:3. Movement and progress aren’t the same thing. Not just activities,God wants us to make progress. God is telling you,Turn you Northward meaning forward and upward movement. God is telling you you’ve been counting that level of money for too long,it’s time to count something bigger. When you get a level where you become too comfortable with it,it means you’ve outgrown it.

Don’t allow things to become normal in your life, it’s time to move forward, it’s time to open branches of that shop, that business should go online next year. Go Northward. Go upward and forward. It starts with you.

Do you believe that God wants you to make progress and become prosperous; 1Timothy 4:15. Give yourself completely to the word of God. The progress that no one can see is no progress.

In your finances, ministry, jobs, all-round progress. Beyond the shouting my Year of …..What are you doing? Progress is moving in line with a designed direction or goal. Activities,motion but no progress.

Progress is moving in line with a set desire or a set goals. Take steps in the line that you want to get to. Some of you, with your kind of friends,you can’t go far in life. You can’t be bigger than the circle of friends you have. Who are your friends? Your friends are those that cheer you up to believe in your dreams. To become a better person,you don’t need some people around you. If you live a general life, you’ll end up like the general people even though you’ve been called to live like a king. Your friends,you choose your friends. Spend time kneeling down and praying about your life instead of gisting. You must change your circle of friends, Who’s speaking negatively into your life? You can’t blame anyone but yourself.

What are your goals for 2019? If there are no goals,there is no forward. God is progress minded,making progress and expanding are two different things. You need to unlearn somethings and learn some new things, kill your pride and learn. The older you get, the fewer the opportunities. Create your own opportunities. You must go and learn something to be relevant.

Money comes when you are good at what you are doing. being a fine girl is not a talent. Once, you beg for recharge cards,you are not serious,are you a beggar? Don’t see begging as an option,because begging puts you at the mercy of men and men are wicked. With man,there’s no mercy but God. Learn a trade irrespective of your age.

2019 isn’t a magical year,you must do something. Invest in yourself. What are you putting in yourself that people will give you money for? For example, A #1000 note, if I squeeze it and jump on it, it still has its value, it doesn’t change from #1000, Whether men step on you, squeeze you, you still have value. Opportunities are there. The road Maybe rough but you’ll get there. Take responsibility for your life.

What are the goals that will drive you in the direction of your goal? Ezekiel 37:4-6. The bones represent the issues of your life that are not in line with God’s will. Prophesy to the dried bones. You are the prophet of your life. Speak what you want to see in 2019.Prophesy!!!

Sermon Notes from 30th December Sunday Service Message with Rev Dr Chris Oyakhilome D.Sc D.D

Dear UBPer,

As I pondered and researched what to share with you as this year 2018 wraps up, I came across this note and thought you all needed to read this, don’t go the same cycle again, redefine your goals and rechannel your energy. I look forward to reading from you

I wish you a superlative 2019 ahead!!

I love you always,